I have two very handsome teenage boys who are extremely popular with teenage girls. The phone is ringing constantly with one girl after another calling to speak to one of my young men. Most moms would be proud (and I am!); however, I'm also very concerned about their health and safety.
For over 3 years now, I've talked to my boys about abstinence, teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. A year or so ago, I started supplying them with condoms - no questions asked. My exhusband would rather preach abstinence, even though he was having sex long before marriage. I know; he's a hypocrite. A friend said to me last night, "I'm just curious. Do you think supplying your kids with condoms is encouraging them to have sex?"
I know what I was doing at their age. I remember being a very sexually confused and sexually active young woman at the age of 13. Yes. Thirteen. And I wasn't the only one in my group of friends who snuck off to the local nature park to have sex. No, I don't believe supplying my boys with condoms is encouraging them to have sex because I believe they'll have sex even if I don't. No one ever gave me condoms when I was a teenager and I was much more sexually active than I should've been. I'm one of the lucky few who didn't contract anything deadly even though I was engaging in very dangerous activity. I'm not proud of that, but it's the truth.
I often tell my boys, "I don't care if a girl tells you she's on birth control pills. Assume she's lying and wrap it up. Protect yourself from everything, including HIV." I certainly hope mothers are encouraging their daughters to protect themselves as well.
I don't assume my boys are straight, even though they're both very interested in girls right now. We discuss HIV and AIDS statistics in both heterosexual relationships and homosexual relationships. I'm trying hard to cover all the bases.
I know every mother has to decide for herself how to discuss sex, teen pregnancy, and HIV and AIDS with their children. I've decided that the open, honest, and realistic approach works best for my family.
