Book Review: The White Man's Guide to Dating Black Women
02.03.08 (9:38 pm) posted by Genia
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I finally finished reading The White Man's Guide to Dating Black Women and I'm ready to a write a review,
as promised. I thought I would simply post the words "That book sucks!" and call it a day,
but I'm guessing my readers would want to know why I came to that conclusion.
While Adam White, the book's author, made a very small and futile attempt to dispell stereotypes and insane myths about Black women,
it's my opinion that he was writing from a place of
ignorance if he really believed he had first-hand knowledge of any
Black woman's inner-thoughts and desires.
Just because a white man has dated a Black woman for years, doesn't mean he's acquired
knowledge that he can now apply to all Black women. We are diverse.
Extremely diverse.
White's language is probably the thing that bothered me the most about his book:
There is no real social support network that actively supports the realization of social tastes that cross the color line.
This means that should you attempt to migrate from the state of daydreaming about
your taste for Black women to going about indulging and satisfying your taste for Black women, doing so is something that will
necessarily have to be a self-propelled activity . . . (page 7)
That kind of language has sexual undertones that make Black women out to be nothing more than sexual beings created for nothing more than a white man's
gratification.
To add insult to injury, White offers up a few racially charged stereotypes about Black men:
Some Black men have a reputation for being players, meaning that their
primary mode of involvement with women, Black and White, is that of a superficial game-player.
Some are known to behave as players who often treat Black women as sexual and financial standby equipment.
They see unattached Black women
everywhere they look, and decide to play the field,
sometimes carrying on several simultaneous relationships
with different women, both Black and White. (page 15)
No he didn't go there! I personally see a lot of men --
Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, whatever -- as players. Race is definitely not a factor. My white ex-husband did his share of playin' around.
White made a very pathetic attempt to prop up white men as morally superior to
Black men; that's a low blow. If that's the tactic he uses to get Black women to date him, he needs better pickup lines.
One thing White doesn't understand is this: we, the Black community, can say what we please about each other. But we don't take too kindly to
outsiders spewin' off at the mouth, especially when their ulterior motive is to bed our women. White is making an attempt to co-exist (as a white male)
in the Black community
via social and sexual relationships with Black women. If he expects to co-exist in the Black community, he needs to work on his manners.
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