Domestic violence is the most common cause of injury to women.
Statistics state that 97% of women who are killed by someone in their family are killed by their husband. The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women (25%)
[source: Lambda].
The amount of reported domestic violence cases rises significantly during the holiday season. A quick search of Google returns
numerous articles
about an increase
in reported domestic abuse cases during the holidays.
Americans are not the only ones grappling with holiday domestic abuse issues;
even police in the UK have their share of
domestic violence troubles during the holidays.
I blogged on a recent study that suggests
lesbians are more stressed during the holidays than straight women, supposedly because of
"[e]strangement from family, marginalization within and isolation from society, [and] separation from children . . . ." These very
stress factors often lead to an increase in domestic violence amongst gays and lesbians during the holidays. A violent partner who is dealing
with estrangement from her own family
will often refuse to allow her significant other to visit family members. The fact that gays and lesbians are often
isolated from society offers a prime opportunity for violent partners to abuse their significant other because they know their partners
most likely won't report the abuse to the authorities.
I read a recent article on abuse (ack! can't locate the source at the moment) where a lesbian recounted how last year her partner wouldn't allow her to visit her family on
Christmas day even though she was still very close
to her family after coming out. The fact that one partner still had a healthy relationship with her family
and the other did not encouraged feelings of resentment. This resentment lead to one partner refusing to
allow the other partner to continue her relationship with her family.
I don't want to ignore the fact that victims of domestic abuse are often men.
Statistics show that 5 - 10% of domestic abuse victims in the US are men. The numbers are probably higher,
but too many men are embarrassed to admit they have been domestic abuse victims.
The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project states one in four gay men experience domestic violence.
BatteredMen.com states that 835,000 men are victims of domestic abuse on an annual basis.
Please note that the BatteredMen story is dated 2001 so the numbers may have gone up or down since then. I'm guessing the numbers have gone up.
Only once in my life have I ever been a victim of domestic abuse. My exhusband once locked me in my room when I asked for a divorce, stating I was no longer
interested in playing straight just to help him save face with his conservative religious family. I had to promise I wouldn't leave him so he would set me free.
Once I was free, I immediately went to the courthouse to get a restraining order. The judge refused the restraining order because in her mind, locking someone
in her room against her will is not domestic abuse. Gotta love those Wisconsin judges!
